Passive Aggressive

Today I had an experience that reminds me why I want a blog. My goal is not to rant about anything, but communication is key in life and I often find I have some difficulty feeling heard. Here, I can put it out to the world and like fishing, see what kind of response I get.

So, the Health Center at Lane (the community college) is located in the basement of a building I have never been in before. It opens at 8:15b every day except Thursday, and naturally, today is Thursday. A small group started to form at 9:30, the time I arrived, and the place opens at 10. There were maybe 6 people total, and I was about second or third. When the woman in scrubs opened the door at exactly 10, all of the people waiting filed in with no regard for how long anyone was waiting.

In my typical assertive but not aggressive manor, I announce that there is, in fact, a line and we had been waiting about a half hour so we should assemble accordingly. A young (half my age at least) thin, (half my size at least) girl spoke up about the situation: "All I need is to have my TB test read". This girl would not make eye contact with me as she spoke. She wanted to engage, or discuss what was happening, but only to get her point across (I'm still not sure what her point was) and without regard for anyone else there. Her words directed towards me were basically "stop talking to me".

As I attempted to explain to her that I was not angry, I was merely suggesting that we go up to the check-in desk in the order we arrived, she refused to acknowledge that she was talking to me. She looked to her right, avoiding my face at all costs, and belligerently refused to accept my explanation for my suggestion to file into the office in order of arrival.

As a result of this interaction, I realized that I often find myself in situations like this. I have something to say, and it comes across as defiant or aggressive.

Everyone is in their own bubble. For some, there are no other bubbles in the world--only their own.

When it was my turn to talk to the person behind the desk, I suggested that the needs of this young woman seemed infinitely more important than the needs of anyone else in this group, and I offered her my spot in line. She walked up to the receptionist and never did make eye contact  with me.

Maybe she needs a sandwich in her life; being that thin looks like it hurts. I'm glad that it's not common practice around here to carry a gun. I have a feeling people get shot over little things like this...

About Me

This is a gift; thank you to the blogger-gods, for a place to post my nonsense. I call myself a writer, so I should probably put it out there and see what happens. At worst, I am talking to myself. And at best, some conversation somewhere mentions "Team Ailene". 

I am entering a national essay contest through Lane Community College and the topic is

Education Not Incarceration. I know a little bit about both. OK. A lot about both.  I got a transfer degree at the community college and now I go to Portland State University. My goal is a PhD or an EdD in some kind of Social Science area like prison reform. I want to work with post-prison populations or something like that.

What inspired me to follow this career path was the two years I did in prison on drug related charges. While I was in there, I was a GED tutor. I currently work as a tutor at school, and I  love it. I also love cars. So, three days a week I work at the Northwest Auto Auction and I love that job too. I like to buy cars on craigslist and sell them. And I also picture someday owning a car lot or something like that. 

I  love my kids. They are each little aspects of me and sometimes that's not good. Why did they get the bad parts of me and not just the good? They're probably equal parts good and bad qualities of me. My girls are 19 and 17 and the boy is 9.

My friend thought I was going to blog about cooking. I do love to cook, but not enough to write about it all the time. I think what I'll blog about is mostly what's going on at Team Ailene. It is interesting, at least as much as most of what's on TV. Our lives are our careers. It's hard work being me, but I'm doing things I feel good about and following my passions.