Before Me

They were at a pool party during the summer of 1967. She was a teenager and he in his early twenties.  In terms of exposure to the world, they lived like the Amish. They drove cars instead of horses, but not on Saturdays. They used electricity six of seven days a week as well. Getting married was the goal and dream of every child; without any thoughts of marrying outside the faith.

Her head floated at the top of the water like one of those red and white balls at the end of a fishing line. Before getting in the pool, she spent at least an hour ironing her dark, Jewish curls. His glasses were thick, and with water constantly splashing on his face, he could barely see. Grandma Mollie told him to go to the party because “there will be a lot of nice Jewish girls there”. Grandpa Phil reminded her that the son of one of his clients is having a party with “nice Jewish boys from the Yeshiva”. They didn’t think about it; they went because that’s what they did in Flushing, New York.

Every weekend there was something; a wedding, an engagement party, a bris. Their futures were dependant on meeting each other. Becoming an old maid at 25 was not an option. She would do what her sisters, mother, and grandmothers before her did. She would marry an orthodox man, be fruitful and multiply and be a good Jew first. The thoughts about who she was and what she enjoyed would not occur to her for almost fifteen years. As the only son of three children, it was crucial that he find a good one. But, of course, no one would ever be as good as the woman in his life—his mother.

Men against women volleyball in the pool brought them to the same place, yet totally opposite. He was showing off when he jumped up to return the serve. Possibly the most non athletic man in the pool, he caught that serve with his face. As the water turned red with his blood, my mother the caretaker crossed the invisible line that kept the sexes apart. There was no thought before she assumed her position at his side as he held his broken nose, just as there was no thought before she promised to love him until the end of time.