Today I had an experience that reminds me why I want a blog. My goal is not to rant about anything, but communication is key in life and I often find I have some difficulty feeling heard. Here, I can put it out to the world and like fishing, see what kind of response I get.
So, the Health Center at Lane (the community college) is located in the basement of a building I have never been in before. It opens at 8:15b every day except Thursday, and naturally, today is Thursday. A small group started to form at 9:30, the time I arrived, and the place opens at 10. There were maybe 6 people total, and I was about second or third. When the woman in scrubs opened the door at exactly 10, all of the people waiting filed in with no regard for how long anyone was waiting.
In my typical assertive but not aggressive manor, I announce that there is, in fact, a line and we had been waiting about a half hour so we should assemble accordingly. A young (half my age at least) thin, (half my size at least) girl spoke up about the situation: "All I need is to have my TB test read". This girl would not make eye contact with me as she spoke. She wanted to engage, or discuss what was happening, but only to get her point across (I'm still not sure what her point was) and without regard for anyone else there. Her words directed towards me were basically "stop talking to me".
As I attempted to explain to her that I was not angry, I was merely suggesting that we go up to the check-in desk in the order we arrived, she refused to acknowledge that she was talking to me. She looked to her right, avoiding my face at all costs, and belligerently refused to accept my explanation for my suggestion to file into the office in order of arrival.
As a result of this interaction, I realized that I often find myself in situations like this. I have something to say, and it comes across as defiant or aggressive.
Everyone is in their own bubble. For some, there are no other bubbles in the world--only their own.
When it was my turn to talk to the person behind the desk, I suggested that the needs of this young woman seemed infinitely more important than the needs of anyone else in this group, and I offered her my spot in line. She walked up to the receptionist and never did make eye contact with me.
Maybe she needs a sandwich in her life; being that thin looks like it hurts. I'm glad that it's not common practice around here to carry a gun. I have a feeling people get shot over little things like this...
People have a way of orbiting around within kind of a bubble perhaps half isolated by its invisible membrane. We bounce off that protective shell and our own internal protective countermeasures kick in. Whether the other has fomented discontent with malice or forethought is tertiary as our own perceptions, defenses, and the kicker, our reactions come into play. To me, those who are unaware or in a state demanding negative perception simply need my love and understanding. Since I have precious little time left on Earth for wasting on either when the fortunes favor failure, my best route is to circumnavigate around and leave them alone. Of course, what happens then is I am left with their impression and passive-aggressive has a way of incubating like a virus and I must not let it incubate in me. I carry a sense of humor in my pocket for just such persons! =)~
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